“Bye honey, I’m off to work.” [x]

source · via (17416) 12 hours ago
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"Relationship advice: Find someone who accepts you for the lazy piece of shit you are."

(via seabelle)
source · via (223834) 12 hours ago


things that are cute

  • you
  • you
  • you
  • you
  • and you
  • all of you
source · via (180909) 12 hours ago



"fight like a girl" is meant to imply weakness, but some girls don’t play nice.

♥ available for a limited time only ♥ 

source · via (49484) 12 hours ago
"I wanna make love to your soul, that’s how deep I wanna go."

(via curiouslypaintingdairy)
source · via (16479) 12 hours ago
"Yeah, maybe I’m just a little clingy piece of shit, but I love you more than anyone ever could."

(via the-psycho-cutie)
source · via (10488) 12 hours ago

Let’s hold hands…

…while I eat you out.

source · via (19152) 12 hours ago



REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.

  1. Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
  2. Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
  3. Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
  4. Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and  you catch each other off guard.
  5. Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
  6. Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?


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